Crossings of the River Thames 5 - The Hammerton Ferry at Ham

Well, it's that time of the month again, when I dust down the bicycle and head off along The River in search of all the different ways in which I can cross it. On my journey through London I have crossed the river at Hampton, Hampton Court, Kingston and Teddington.

However, imagine my surprise while cycling along the river when I suddenly came upon another crossing, pretty much in the middle of nowhere.



Nowhere, a good place to describe this part of the Thames. It is a beautiful part of the river. On the 'North Bank' you have the estates of Marble Hill and Orleans House. On the 'South Bank' stands Ham House. But as for places where people actually live, they are a bit more set back from the riverside. There are no 'luxury flats' around here, but acres of parkland bordering the Thames.

Which is actually quite handy as the low embankments on the river means that the area does flood around this time of the year due to the high tides. Cycling around last week was a wet and wonderful experience!



The ferry itself is fairly irregular, but is entertainment in itself. Alongside Hampton it stands as one of the more expensive ways to cross the Thames, but it is infinitely more handy if you're a tourist wanting take in all three sites in the vicinity.

This is what I would call a very cultural part of the river. History, art as well as open parkland. No traffic and stunning views of Richmond Hill and beyond, this little pocket of South West London is a gem that will be revisited one day. But the call of the journey pulls me on and there is another crossing further downstream. London is beginning to feel more 'urban', there's more 'street' in the air and as always, the bike takes the strain as I continue my journey.



From here on in the river itself still feels very rustic until you reach the outlying suburbs of Richmond. Then you hear the noise of traffic, something that really has not been obvious for the last few miles. More people milling around and the buildings creeping upto the banks. Although there is still much parkland bordering the river all the way through London, the water begins to lap against the urban sprawl and the last part of innocent London fades into the distance as we begin to take on the meatier parts of the Capital.



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Getting there:

Southbank: Bus 371 then a walk from Ham Street.

Northbank: Buses 33, 490, H22, R68, R70, N22 and then a walk from Marble Hill.

All quiet...

It's all so quiet...and now what happens? The noise and laughter of the previous night. The soiree of soirees. The new forged links, the firmly gripped handshakes, the loose brushes of fingers against one another. Eyes lit up with joy, eyes lit up with enthusiasm and eyes lit up with mystery. Drinks a plenty, tapas (I am not spelling hor'dourves), and lively conversation with clips of the best from the festival played on plasma screens at the side of the bar. A night to remember, especially as it was (as always) a sober one for me.

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So what happens now? I've sent the e-mails to those that have given me their cards. I've done the whole facebook 'thing' (ugh). And I have phoned all that I have to phone. Everything has been completed, by the rules, I have done what I have had to do and now I sit and wait by my phone, waiting for it to ring...

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Waiting my behind! It's back to work, the usual. And there is something very cool that I want to add to my tale of South London woe. Sometimes I blur the line between actual events and my imagination. And I'm not going into that whole philosophical question on 'am I living a dream'.

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One thing that was nice was cycling late at night. It's far better than getting the bus and it makes a nice change from the car. But winter is setting in and it is a wee bit nippy now that the equinox is almost upon us.

Movies across the water...

East London is one fantastic place to get your films screened. But it wasn't the only big screen this weekend. I was also living it large Saaath of the river at the Deptford Film Festival. And not one but two films were shown. Both of very different genres and both completely different responses. It was amazing to see what the audience thought of both. One of the great things about getting your film screened in public is to see how their bounce off the film. It can be good and bad. Of course, if they don't like it then 'ouch'. If they do, then 'yey'. But either way, it is great to see their response and a learning curve. When you get back to the drawing board, you have a little more clarity.



But now what happens, now that the dust has settled? Good question. The euphoria of the last couple of days has dissipated and now it is back to the grindstone. The life of a McJobber is not one that is all that tempting, but it is something that has to be contemplated. And after all the e-mails shots to fellow film makers are sent off, what then? How quiet will the Western Front be?



I am a self taught film maker. It was flattering that a lot of people at the festivals thought I had been to film school. But the fact is that I have never passed through the doors of one. I have not studied film in anyway. I have not gone to a workshop, a summer camp on films or even a one day special event on how to 'use a camera'. Everything has been self-taught from dropping the camera in the most appropriate way to loosing half my edit because MACS DO CRASH. Or as they put it, 'unexpectedly quit'.

And that's the thing. I don't know what to do next. How do I build on the success enjoyed so far?

Well, it will be an interesting journey, and I am sure it is going to be filled with many potholes. But I'll get there...

Movies in the Open House...

As part of Open House, I skipped off round the East End of London. And as part of the Canary Wharf Film Festival, I skipped even more around by the banks of the river.

I have known about Trinity Buoy, the lighthouse at the confluence of the Lea and the Thames for a while. You can get a fuller history here or here. As a local, I really wanted to see a piece of hidden history. As a film maker I wanted to check out what I hope one day would be a fantastic film set. And as myself, I really wanted to see the lighthouse! The big kid was finally going to fulfil the fantasy.

And what a fantasy!



There is something quite magical about this location. And it isn't the number of artists in this one area or the views (spectacular as they are). It is the sheer fact that right in the midst of the urban jungle, there is a lighthouse, looking out over the river. It may not be Alexandria, but it is a wonder for me.

And also, they were screening films here as part of the CWFF. Wow, wow, wow. It's not the magic of seeing it on the big screen, but for pure FUNK, this had to be the place to watch the films. In the basement of one of the warehouses, against a back wall. It just felt so cool. And such a hidden gem!



Back outside the warehouse, I climbed my first steps of a lighthouse. A fantasy that I have wanted to complete since I was a boy was coming true. As part of the Open House, the organisers had set up a sound installation in the building. Personally, I liked it. The sound fitted in well with the nineteenth century engineering of the tower. I am no architect, but was that wrought iron, stone and brick? Whatever it was, the building was a joy to behold and wander round.





But the best was for last. Simply the view across the Thames. To the East was the murky waters of the Lea coming towards an end. In front of you was the Dome (no Oxygen here) and to the West the Glories of Canary Wharf and the place where my my film was to be braodcast a couple of hours later. My visit was not long enough, but I will be back.

A busy weekend

I haven't had a weekennd like this in a long time. London Open House, The Canary Wharf Film Festival and the Deptford Design Festival. A fantastic plethora of events, linked together by DLR. And expect detailed reports next week on all the juicy fun. The bonus being that Deptford also decided to screen Caution Wet Paint. And it was sunny to boot!

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner...

Filming in London

Now for something a little more sober. While all the craziness surrounds Caution Wet Paint, there lies something a little more refined in one of my favourite places in all of South London - Deptford.

This weekend marks a fiesta of events in London including Open House, the CWFF and the Deptford Film Festival amongst others. We are very lucky to be living in a city with so much in terms of arts, and events that celebrate the fabric of the city.

The Deptford Film Festival has been a complete surprise to the senses. I feel ecstatic that two festivals are happening on the same weekend and containing two very different films. One contains a quirky comedy and the other contains something a little more poignant. These films reflect two very different sides to my film making as well. One that is brash and chaotic, something that embraces the hard edges of this city while the other piece is something softer and altogether more gentle, something almost hidden deep in the urban fabric.

I am a London film maker and it is something that I proclaim quite proudly with association to my dichotomous relationship with the city. One of love and hate with equal passion. And while London is not one of the easiest places to live, it is a place which can inspire. There are eight million stories just waiting to be told.

Any readers of this blog, I would love to see you at either event this weekend. Just come up and say hi.

'Caution Wet Paint' - Canary Wharf Film Festival. Cineworld (Canary Wharf, London, E14) at 3pm on Saturday 15th. (West India Quay Station)

'Two Glasses' - Deptford FIlm Festival. Faircharm Studios (Creekside, London, SE8 3DX) at 4pm on Saturday 15th. (Deptford Bridge Station)

The Long Good Friday of Filming

It was a nerve wracking and fun filled day yesterday at the Canary Wharf Film Festival. First of all, seeing my film on the big screen. Woah! That was freaky. Try to understand that you edit on a little box, view on youtube and when you're testing out, on a tv. But nothing prepares you for a screen that is the size of a bus. The image s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s and it looks so funky. You also get to see the 'mistakes' that you made and think, 'Did anyone else notice that?'

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Tonight comes a talk about filming in Docklands which I have been invited to to give a brief Q+A about the fun of filming in East London. This will prove to be an entertaining night. I get to talk about films for a little but and about shooting in what is my opinion, one of the greatest areas that this country has to offer - E14. This one postcode contains so many locations on which to feast the eyes.

Where else do you get abandoned docks, financial prowess, a lighthouse, beautiful parks, a tunnel, a foot tunnel, a canal, the Poplar Massif and of course the River Thames itself looping around on its way to the sea. It is a location and a half! A gift to a half-wit with a camera such as myself. And time and time again, I have used its location to shoot film after film, an area that inspires you with any idea no matter how serious or whacky it can be.

And so, while nervous about speaking tonight in front of a bunch of people, a lot of them more experienced than me, thankfully it is about a subject that I love.

Film Fiestas (6)

Yes, yes, yes! I am in a second film festival! And I found out late yesterday evening. Another film, the more sober minded 'Two Glasses' is to be screened as part of the Deptford Design Festival on Saturday. So after watching the Guys in the East End I will quickly hop off to South London to see the Ladies. It starts at 4pm and I will pass on the details as I get it but it will be somewhere in Deptford amongst the fun of the festival.

Wow, two film festivals in a day! That is something pretty cool. And it is fantastic for everyone involved that I have two different films showing as it allows more people to enjoy the publicity and it also gives the audience a bit more choice in the work I do as well. Plus I am just pretty excited to be in another festival - yes, yes, yes!

And, here is a set of stills from Two Glasses. Enjoy!

Film Fiestas (5)

I am sitting on the sofa, pondering and regretting the fact that I have eaten curry for breakfast. On my left is a small exercise book. I am too lazy to reach it, although it holds the location of a beautiful 'location' which I would one day like to use in a film...

My camera is repaired, finally! But I still have to repair a tap, get some business cards printed and finish a script (along with a synopsis).

But the curry on my tummy...

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Preparations for the festival. What do I take, what do I wear, how do I present myself. Damn, I have to shave my head, another on the 'to-do' list. Where is that list anyways? Oh, I need to cycle as well, get some fitness levels going up. Maybe I can incorporate that into a trip to get business cards...

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Ah! F**k! What am I thinking of! Tomorrow I got a festival and I don't have a clue about what is expected from me! Help! Oh my goodness, film types everywhere scrutinising you. You know the type, the weirdoes with the funky hair and glasses, the skinny types, the ones with the 'uptheirownbacksidevoices' who sneer at you when you offer your hand for a shake. The ones who have won awards, the ones who have got into Cannes, the ones...

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Take a deep breath and go for it. One thing that has to be said, film making is not glamourous. If you're an actor it is. Turn up for an audition, make sure you look reasonable, party hard afterwards. For a director it is slightly different. Get the script, get the funding, organise the actors and crew, shoot, re-shoot, under pressure to finish on time, edit, find a distributor, countless rejections from festivals, agents and companies and this is all for one project which if you're lucky takes up only a year of your time.

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I have been to many film festivals in my time, but Thursday marks the first one that I will be attending when I am also an attraction as well as a spectator. It's not the biggest festival on the planet, but I am still kind of nervous. And I am not sure how it will all turn out. But the adventure continues...

Film Fiesta (4)

Just a note to all that are turning up to the Canary Wharf Film Festival, do note that it is a free event.

Free?

Yep, free. First come, first served for tickets. The Cineworld opens at 11.30am-ish and tickets are available throughout the day.

Thursday will probably not be that busy, but Saturday will probably be buzzing.

I'm saying probably as I really don't know how any of this is going to turn out. Hence the nervous ramblings on this blog. Will anyone turn up or will it be my mother and myself staring at the big empty screen?

Then again, this is East london. Anything that is free will be snapped up, so turn up early to enjoy the milky fun.

But in case you're missing out, here's a taster of the fun of Caution Wet Paint!

Caution Wet Paint at the movies:

Thursday 13th at 3pm and Saturday 15th 3pm at the Cineworld (Canary Wharf) at West India Quay.

Film Fiestas (3)

The bulk of my filming has taken place in the East End. In particular I have utilised the E14 postcode (otherwise known as Poplar) more than any other part of London. On most weekends and also on many weekdays, you will see me running around this not so well known part of East London, usually with nothing more than a camera and a lot of shouting. I have had run-ins with the locals, the law, overzealous security guards, sealed-off locations and dogs.

But the biggest detriment to my filming experiences in Poplar is the weather.

(Maybe I should replace 'Poplar' with 'UK')

On Friday I am part of an event at the CWFF that talks about the trials and tribulations of shooting in East London. But out of all the hassles I have had to put up with, none is as bad as the rain.

It really mucks up your camera.

Film Fiestas (2)

El Director's first film festival it seems will not go off that smoothly. There are plans that were in motion long ago which means that the sudden and unexpected rearing of a film festival has put one huge spanner in the works.

At this moment in time I am lucky enough to have the free time in which to visit all the festival dates. And if things go smoothly I will hopefully be popping up in more areas of the festival than the screenings. It all depends on the 'smoothness' of it all.

I have been to a fair few festivals in the past, but this is the first one that I will hopefully be participating in a more than audience type way. But I have to make some preparation for this. Business cards are of the order, something that I never realised until I was invited to a soiree last year. Of course, being a writer/director, I am not really good in the company of loads of cocky actors, but it was a good learning curve. I also got to have press packs at the ready, an essential tool with which to communicate with the audience and loads of DVD's. It is important to be media friendly, and really, I am there to sell myself to the audience.

The audience. Yep, this is what worries me. Audiences are always a worry and that is because you make a film to entertain them. And the audience of a film festival are those that are in the know. A lot of them are like me, wannabe film makers. Some of these guys are really nice, but some can be plain awful - this business makes you bitter. There are also journalists, people who have already made it in some form or capacity and the festival organisers - even more nerve wracking as these are people in the know and you can't pull the wool over their eyes. There is very little that you can blag. To quote, don't bullshit a bullshitter.

And this is my first time in front of an audience. Not once but twice on both Thursday and Saturday. So it could be double the pleasure or double the pain. I don't know how to tackle this, but it will be an interesting time.

Film Fiestas (1)

The story of 'El Director' is one of fun and woe, but most importantly it is one of banging my nut against doors to try and get let in. And so this week marks the first time that any of my films have got into a film festival. This Thursday, marks the first time that I will see my creation on something bigger than a telly.

So, am I nervous?

Maybe that's a bit of a stupid question to ask. But I am wondering what it will be like in the cinema, my little film jumbled up with all the other shorts.

There maybe some talking to do before or afterwards. That isn't the bit that I am scared of. In fact, it something I excel at. But it is the actual screening that makes me perspire just a little. To actually see the reaction of the audience. Will they like it, will they laugh or will they groan. Will they get it or remember it or will it be flushed down the toilet bowl of memories along with every other short they have seen.

And most importantly, will anyone turn up?

See you there!

El Director hits the movies!

One of the 'Caution Wet Paint' episodes will be hitting the big screens next week. So if you're in the East End, come on over to Canary Wharf and to the Cineworld in West India Quay, where there will be a feast for your eyes.




Caution Wet Paint - At the movies!

Cineworld West India Quay, Canary Wharf, London E14.

(Nearest tube West India Quay)

Thursday 13th September at 3pm

and Saturday 15th September also at 3pm.

See you there.

I want my camera!

It has been a week and still no sign of my precious camera that I paid 'enough' money to get repaired. The trials of El Director continue but how can I even be a director if my camera isn't with me. I am not able to go out and take photos and so I miss out on important anniversaries. I can't continue to poodle down the Thames. In fact, I feel alone and unloved in my little home just wanting to edge out but unable to due to my crutch being taken away from me.

I want my camera! Waaah!

Oh, and because of a lack of camera, I have been unable to continue with my East End Series. But hopefully, not for long...

Thoughts on Dubai

I have travelled to a fair few countries on this tiny globe and yet why have I chosen Dubai? Well, it is very much a city which people are aware of. The glistening skyline, the hubbub of activity, the multitude of projects that exist. It is a city that seems to be racing to the future and a city that seems to be actively seeking a route of economic development that does not depend on oil wealth.

However the UAE as a whole, although diversifying seem to be defying gravity. No country in the world has gone from a producer of primary goods to a service economy without entering some sort of manufacturing phase. Even relatively small countries such as the Bahamas and Mauritius that are now entering the stage of a service economy had and still have some sort of secondary industry. In other words, Dubai is trying to skip the queue in order to join the developed world.

Will it work? Good question. It seems on target to. With the investments made by the Dubai government and the transformation of Dubai in something akin to a Las Vegas of the East, it seems that although untested, it will probably work.

I say probably.

There is something that leaves a bad taste in the mouth about the whole Dubai project. For starters, the lack of rights attached to their residents, particularly the guys from Africa and the Sub-Continent. These are the builders of Dubai, what the whole project rests on, but they are expendable in terms of their jobs, their treatment under law and even their lives. As there is no attempt to grant at least permanent residency to the workers of Dubai, there is no long term loyalty fostered amongst this important part of the community. And if there is no long term loyalty, how do you expect to build a future?

The only people that are encouraged to stay are the rich and beautiful. Or maybe I should term that the Blonde and the Beautiful knowing how much the natives of Dubai love the colour 'Blonde'. But, fashions change and one day the rich and famous will leave as somewhere else becomes more beautiful and spectacular. It has happened to Seychelles which has been superseded by the Maldives and is now languishing after a lazy government depended on the rich and famous for too long. And it will inevitably happen to Dubai. Anyone remember Bahrain?

And, there is also something very 'Mickey Mouse' about the whole project. Everything that is being built is there to dazzle. Ice Bars, Islands in the Sea, Ski Slopes, a brand new ridiculously sized airport, and my favourite, the World's Biggest Greenhouse - a sensible option in a country that experiences clear skies and 50C heat. Without the oil money there would be no scope for these projects in fact there is no other place on Earth that seems this stupid. A lot of people may think that the Japanese come up with odd inventions, but their are innovators and look how many people today own a PSP or Wii. Dubai is not innovating, it simply seems to be strapping ideas together in a desperate attempt that it will work.

I hope Dubai succeeds. Only because I do not want to see them starve. Once the oil runs out, they need something to keep the punters there otherwise there is no food - nothing grows in that country and even with their harsh citizenship laws, there wouldn't be enough food to feed their own people. But maybe Dubai has to start thinking from a different angle. It seems to be thinking from the top, down and this is due to the poor education and lack of freedoms granted to their population, including their transient population. Allowing the people the freedom and ability to expand themselves beyond the shopping mall would allow for innovation which ultimately breeds success and a viable economy. Governemts do not know how to think. And allowing all the residents of Dubai to become equal players in the state would give each an every person a vested interest in success rather than the mercenary mentality which prevails. And finally, making the Arabs actually work. This is something that has rarely been mentioned in any analysis on the Gulf States but the fact is that the majority of 'Local Arabs' are lazy and have now got used to the oil lifestyle bestowed upon them. It would take a brave politician to force them all into the free market world, but although painful it would probably save Dubai itself from the inevitable 'lights out' when the oil wells finally run dry.

Welcome to Dubai!

As this year seems to be one where I am most definitely sticking in good old Blighty, it looks like I will have to probe the dark recesses of my TV infested memory banks in order to gauge the past times and the jolly times of my travels abroad.

Dubai, a place where the world meets? Although I transited the airport many times, I have also been to the city itself. Once in 2000. I remember arriving from Sri Lanka, sick, tired but relatively wealthy (ah, the mickey mouse rupee). Arriving at 11am, I was whisked through immigration and customs and onto the streets of Dubai. As I knew I couldn't afford a regular taxi into town, I went upto the highway and got a ride in a shared taxi. Joy, but something that you will probably not find nowadays in the Emirate.

Found a hotel and started eating. And it was nice. I love Sri Lanka, but it is good to be in a city where I don't have to worry about hygiene.

How 'theme park' was Dubai back then. Well, it was a theme park, but a tame one and even in the centre of town there were pockets of 'normality'. And it was a place where the world could meet, as I met plenty of guys in the local tea bar, smoking sheesha and playing chess. Guys from Yemen, Somalia, Eritrea, I had stumbled upon the 'Red Sea' district of Dubai, by the waterfront, poor but funky/. Almost bohemian. Today, it probably doesn't exist, swept away by the development of the city.

And yes, I had to say that there were different worlds in Dubai. There was a world for the rich and a world for the not-so-rich. My passport said I was loaded. My wallet and my skin tone said something different. Dubai is great if you're a certain type of person. But if you're someone else...

What do I think of Dubai. Well, I contrast it with the simple fun that I had seven years ago with the reports that I read today of stupid projects such as Ice Bars or of placing the world's biggest greenhouse in 50C heat. It seems that DUbai is hell bent on wanting to become a theme park and is happy to exclude the people that have built it up from the sand.

What will the future hold for Dubai. Well, the next few years are going to be great. 24/7 partying, a brand new city built to high standards and a city flush with easy cash. But when the oil runs out? Well, I hope they do well and they will probably fair better than Saudi. But is their plan foolproof?

Cooking by Charlie

I ate far too much chilli this weekend.

Adult Toons!

Ah, the shady world of adult cartoons. We all know of the brilliance of family orientated fare such as 'The Simpsons' and Futurama. But there are plenty of other offerings that wing their way from over the Atlantic.

Probably the most famous is 'South Park'. Bigger and more uncut and still going strong. But there were also some classics, from when I was mainly a zitty teenager. Anyone remembers Beavis and Butthead? I really liked that, back in the days when MTV had loads of cool animations. Wow, am I getting old?

And then there was the short lived funny, The Critic, which I loved, especially the intro music. It most definitely didn't stink.

But my favourite 'adult' toons, not including Animie. Mmm. Well, there is King of the Hill, which I love. And then finally, the obscure and almost lost Daria. A spinoff, but one which I really liked.

Enjoy, before they remove it for copyright reasons...

Kiddies Toons!

You know, there are some lame telly shows at the moment. I am not talking about Big Brother or Fame Academy (does that still exist) as that is always bad. I am talking about cartoons. Remember Tom and Jerry or the fantastic fun of Bugs Bunny. Wow.

But we're going a little bit beyond the era of the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flinstones (barely watchable) or the Jetsons (yuck) or even http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scooby_doo (that was just plain awful).

No, our diet of American based fun really came from Nicktoons. Back in the day we had it all! Classic cartoons that could be rewatched in your teenage years and still be appreciated. And even now, if we're lucky enough to get to see a rerun, they are more than just watchable, they are relevant to modern life as we know it.

How many people remember the Rugrats. Wouldn't it have been fun to have adventures just like them when we were younger. Ahhh.

But for me, there were two classics from Nickelodeon. Firstly was Ren and Stimpy. That was just sick, in every sense of the word. Can you remember 'Log!' or the just plain stinky stories that were available every week. Joy!

And of course, the top dog, the one and only had to be Doug. Wow, the adventures of Doug Funnie and Skeeter. His comic book skills, his love for Pattie. This was a pure quality cartoon and I could watch that everyday, even today, if they would re-air it. And the amount of people that are influenced today.

The later Nicktoons were not so great, although I did like Rocko's Modern Life, it really all started to go downhill with Ahh, Real Monsters. That was a slippery slope which saw the Rugrats make far too many movies, and Doug being transferred to Disney - and yes, it was a butchery. Ren and Stimpy still retained their stinkiness and managed to go 'Adult' but it just was no longer the same.

Oh, here are some memories to sigh and weep over.



Joy!

Facebook: The Analysis

It has been a two or three months since I 'joined' the online community that is fast taking over the 'www' experience. And so, how is it been, what do I think about it and has it changed my life forever? Here is a little 'diary' of my facebook life so far.

Late May: Ugh, another birthday, another year where life has taken my balls and squeezed it without any pleasure. And what's this, facebook, will it really help my filming? Just look how great 'gimpspace' is. Oh well, might as well try.

Late May, 2am: Wow, 30 friends already, people who I have missed so much over the past few years that we were out of contact. Oooh, and poke, I wonder what happens with that. Wow, she still looks cute, so does she, eugh, what happened to her, she was fit the last time I saw her.

Early June: Ha, I've beaten my friend with the number of friends he has. Ha, ha. Oh wait a minute, he knows people in Vancouver, how? And this guy knows people in Bosnia, wtf was he doing over there. Oh, yeah, I remember you too, poke back.

Mid June: So, I checked my youtube account. Nothing, nada, not one increase in its paltry number of hits. What, don't these guys know that I am a film wannabe, I am their 'friend', why don't they give me their support? B'stards!

Late June: Mmm, maybe my profile picture isn't that good. Need to look more 'hunky'.

Late June, 3am: Stalking, no one must see me 'online'. Hehehe...

Early July: Woah, an Inbox, what's this about. Oh yeah, of course we'll meet up for a drink. Ah, the amber nectar, flowing down my throat. Sweet memories, such as cider over ice. Yeah, let's meet up. And I'll do the same with you, and you. Wow, Facebook is really helping my film career.

Early July, 2 days later: Mmm, I've done a little too much double booking. Cancel, cancel, cancel. Sorry guys, we're still friends? poke, poke.

Mid July: My wall is filled up by my friends' comments, but I phone these guys anyway. Where are all my other friends? I have fifty in this world and no one bothers to poke me anymore, waaaah!

Late July: Face what?

Early Aug: No, I don't want to be your friend. I only chatted to you, randomly, a couple of years ago because you were cute, but didn't have the guts to ask you out. The fact that you are now married and onto your second child means that I really have no interest in your so called pokes.

Mid Aug: Inbox. This guy is asking my if I know him. Do I care anymore?

Yesterday: Read in the paper that unions are asking companies to allow 'Facebook Time'. We live in a satisfying world.

Film Festival Tizzy!

The news that 'Caution Wet Paint' got into the Canary Wharf Film Festival sent El Maestro and myself into a tizzy!



Caution Wet Paint - Screening at the Canary Wharf Film Festival, London, September 13-17th. See you there!

A new beginning

Today marks a new beginning in the life of 'El Director'. This is the last day in my current McJob as a bus driver. The previous two years of my life have been filming intermingled with spouts of driving a double decker through the streets of South London. But today is the last day that I will be behind the wheel of a big red bus, hopefully forever.

I will miss the regular paycheques. The free pass (much under utilised) and believe it or not, the good company of my co-workers. However, although it is not a bad job, I will not miss it one bit.

So what does the future hold. I don't know. A lot of uncertainty and a lot of risk. Financially I am stepping into the unknown and the illusion But once again, the adventure begins...

Rewarding Stupidity

It is true that in the UK we take life very dearly. Health and Safety Law has been one instrument of this and while many people bemoan its far reaching claws into modern life, the fact is that in many industries the value we place on human life has meant that death rates in the work place have fallen. The extension of the Jubilee Line in the late nineties is the perfect example of how construction, once a dangerous industry has become safe, and about time. Essentially death in the workplace is something that should never happen and it is thanks to Health and Safety that we have such a clean record in the UK.

So it is such a shame when stupidity kicks in throughout the general population. From my own experience, Friday and Saturday nights are when boys think they're invincible and will try to take on a double decker, thinking they have the might of Hercules. Either in their little 'sporty' cars or just by walking in front of you. The reality that 17 tons of steel and glass would flatten anything they throw at it really doesn't get through their brains, once a few jars of the amber nectar have lubricated the synapses.

Drunken stupidity makes a mockery of the efforts of many people to improve the safety and thereby the quality of lives around this country. Go to many parts of the world outside North America and Europe and there is a complete disregard for safety in the workplace or safety in general. And, especially if you're poor, there is a complete disregard for life.

But maybe people want to 'feel' some danger in their life, to make it 'worthwhile'. And also the punishments are so lax and the safety laws are still stringent that even if you are a complete muppet you will still live with a slap on the wrist.

Evolution, sometimes it's a good thing...

Bank Holiday Blues 3

Well, today is the day of reckoning. And there is nothing I like better than Carnival! But today I'll be ferrying the joyous ones to and fro their fundays.

I do enjoy Notting Hill. It is a Caribbean thing but over the years us Africans as well as the Latin Americans have joined in the party.

But the thing I love best is not the music or even the beanies, but the food. Oh yes, jerked meats, rice and peas, patties and dumplings galore as well as enough plantain to fill the largest of holes.

Mmm, I will miss the good life today.

Bank Holiday Blues 2

As the last Bank Holiday of the year, it is good to take something special from this weekend. And this is a weekend that is packed with festivities and things to do, without being laden with the religious symbolism of other Bank Holidays. In other words, the August Bank Holiday is as secular as it gets. And therefore it is a day designed for pure fun.

And it is fun. You get to see the general population drinking cider, getting stuck in traffic via relations' houses and shopping in their thousands on this last 'extra' day off.

Mmm.

It is fun!

But what have I, 'el director' been upto over the previous August Bank Holidays?

2003 - Working in China.
2004 - Holiday in Sri Lanka.
2005 - Carnival!
2006 - Working in London.
2007 - Working in London.

It has been fun!

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Next year, I promise to have more fun.

Bank Holiday Blues 1

Well, it is the last Bank Holiday of 2007 until the Xmas period and so the long gap of Autumn finally begins. Looking out of the window today, it is deceptively sunny but cycling back last night through the fog, anyone could have been forgiven for thinking it was already winter.

And again, this Bank Holiday I am working in my McJob. Ferrying people who always seem to be having a far better time than me. And how, they are taking their Bank Holiday weekend with relish.

To recap the Bank Holidays of the Last Year:

Christmas Day '06 - Worked the evening of Christmas Eve and so the first two hours of Christmas Day. Rostered on.
Boxing Day '06 - Worked. Overtime.
New Years Day '07 - Worked. Overtime.
Good Friday '07 - Worked. Rostered on.
Easter Monday'07 - Rostered off - yey!
Mayday Bank Holiday '07 - Rostered off - yey!
Spring Bank Holiday '07 - Worked. Rostered on.
Summer Bank Holiday '07 - Working. Rostered on.

Yes, the pay is better, but how much of it do you actually see? Well, it never stopped me from volunteering for two of those Bank Holidays.

Working on Bank Holidays is a bit of a mixed batch. It can be good but sometimes, especially around Christmas it is pure chaos.

I wonder how next year's Bank Holidays will fare?

Pssst

One of the bad things about driving the bus is the lack of toilet facilities on the route. Not all the toilets are open 24/7, although the bus routes now run all night. Not all of them are safe to go into with a cash tray and not all of them are in any state to do more than a number 1. And I am happy I can stand and use the lavvies.

It's at these times that you thank McDonalds for existing.

Crossings of the River Thames 4 - Teddington Lock Footbridge

For me, Teddington has to be one of the more fascinating parts of the river. Teddington itself has nothing much to offer the human species, apart from the fact that it is a nice enough suburb. But the river as it flows past Teddington is fantastic. Not so much for its charm or beauty, although it is a lovely spot, but for what it actually is.



But to the bridge first. It is a simple footbridge that links the merry suburb of Teddington with the less glamorous suburb of Ham on the 'South Bank'. Although as the river curves at this point Ham is actually on the eastern side of the river and Teddington is on its western side. For all keep fitters this is a great place to jog or cycle. This part of London is particularly lush and especially on the Ham side of the river there is parkland to enjoy as well as being close to Richmond Park. Oh, the joys of cycling along the Thames! Oh, happy memories! I must admit, getting to these crossings is half the fun and if you're a mudlover such as myself, then you will love the dirty, unpaved river bank that follows this lazy river towards the sea.



Except one thing. We have already reached the sea. Yep, from here on in we are no longer following a river but in fact we are now happily skipping along the coast, as defined by the Ordinance Survey. So get out your deckchairs and bathing suits as this is where the seaside fun begins.

You can call this part of the Thames the sea, a creek, an inlet or an estuary, but from here on eastward, this is the most famous part of 'The River'. Irony.

Teddington Lock itself is just slightly upstream from the footbridge. And when the lock is in full blast, it makes an amazing sound. A wall of water belching out from the upper reaches of the river towards the sea. I have been to far larger rivers but I am always impressed by the locks over the Thames and Teddington being the biggest of the lot impresses me the most. Size matters.



So this is the dividing line. The border. Artificially inserted. For the lock holds back the tide and so also holds back the influence of the PLA. If there was any denial of London's haphazard local government, the management of The River has to be a start. With rising sea levels, the tidal head would be a lot further upstream, possibly as far as Chertsey. But for now the imposing locks at Teddington keeps the tide at bay. And this is also the border between 'Plastic London' and 'Real London'. The classic poses of The Capital begin here. It gets a little less posh, a little bit more grimy and a lot more funky. Well actually, the river is still quite pleasant for the next few miles, but head 'inland' from the Tidal Thames and you get to see a little more in the way of 'Dutty London'.

But for now, you can enjoy life on the beach.




Getting there:

Bus routes 281, 285 and R68 all pass a stone's throw from the lock on the 'Northbank'. Route 371 passes a short walk away on the 'Southbank.

Nearest stations are Kingston and Hampton Wick (National Rail).

Crossings of the River Thames - Continued

It has been a long time, but do not worry, I have not forgotten about my own little series about the Crossings of the Thames. In fact, it has been a very busy month and I wanted to do the next crossing, Teddington Lock, some justice, which is why I have delayed and delayed until the right moment to give it my fullest attention. To re-cap, and to re-edit the crossings of The River within London are (from west to east):

Hampton Ferry
Hampton Court Bridge
Kingston Bridge
Teddington Lock
Ham Ferry
Richmond Bridge
Twickenham Bridge
Richmond Lock
Kew Bridge
Chiswick Bridge
Barnes Railway Bridge
Hammersmith Bridge
Putney Bridge
Fulham Railway Bridge
Wandsworth Bridge
Battersea Bridge
Albert Bridge
Chelsea Bridge
Vauxhall Bridge
Lambeth Bridge
Westminster Bridge
Hungerford Bridge
Waterloo Bridge
Blackfriars Bridge
Millennium Bridge
Southwark Bridge
London Bridge
Tower Bridge
Rotherhithe Tunnel
Greenwich Foot Tunnel
Woolwich Ferry
Woolwich Foot Tunnel

(And that’s three ferries, three tunnels and twenty seven bridges to cross).

It’s a little re-edited from the original list and no doubt as I continue downstream I will discover more crossings, or scribble off those that have closed down to regular foot trade.

As I must reiterate, there is no Blackwalll Tunnel as this list only includes crossings that can be made by foot.

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It remains to be seen if I can actually make it all the way to Woolwich, but I am still committed to this list. At the rate of one crossing a month, I still have over two years to complete this odyssey through the heart of London. See you when I’m thirty?