Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Bye Bye Facebook!

This is probably going to be the lamest blog this month and that includes the fact that January has had a pretty low word tally per post. But the fact is that I have been reviewing my online lifestyle (how gimpy is this blog going to sound) and I really have to ask myself, is the big blue yonder from California really worth it?

It was fun at first, and the stalk factor was always amusing. But now it is just tedious. And like friends reunited before it, this fad is slowly dying out. Less photos are being uploaded, I have not been poked in ages, and even the recent friend request from another gimpbook virgin has failed to titillate me.

Now that my status updates are done through twitter, the beauty in being able to communicate in 140 characters or less appeals to my sense of wasting precious bandwidth. And the honest truth is that people who I really want to communicate with, I already do on a regular basis, through e-mails, on their blogs or via their own twitters. I probably have their phone numbers and, shock horror, I also meet up with them!

But, as we've always known, gimpbook is just a waste of time. So I have decided to attempt to erase my profile off the internet's greatest stalk engine. Note that this is an attempt, as the actual process in deleting a facebook account is fraught with more stress than a commute from Morden. So while Jan 31st is the target, do not hold me up to it if I cannot actually rid myself of this disservice.

Now before you think I am an internet naysayer, I am not. I love the internet. Okay, I don't. I despise it like the plague and in fact all things with a microprocessor should be destroyed. Do not even try and get me with the irony of my near daily blogging, the fact that I run two websites or the fact that I use digital cinematography rather than film. The fact is that I love what I do, but I despise the process. Does that make sense? I suppose it is akin to enjoying a hot bath, but I hate waiting for the tub itself to fill up. Facebook is like filing a bath with a pipette, an exercise in sheer futility.

Now, the deletion process is fraught with hazards. Firstly, I will loose contact with all my friends. Well, it has happened before, so what the hell. My attitude to life is that you always manage to keep the important ones close. Secondly, and more importantly, it is damn near impossible. The genius in Facebook is that it is parasitical. Like herpes (you need to get to the 18 minute mark to enjoy the joke or you can click here for the dialogue), you just can't get rid of it. You can do it superficially, but ultimately, your details are still there, floating in cyberspace. Oh well, it has been mildly amusing, and so until the next social fad, I bid you all, farewell...


Anonymous said...

errrr... i totally feel for you on this. i left a while back disgusted with all, well the people etc. and it is just another useless format to ignore/ stalk/ brag on really. sucketh! be aware it is actually quite hard to leave properly- they go- ok so you've left... but! if you ever want to come back to facebook just log in! wa wa wa. good luck to ya, woo woo! jemma x

el director! said...

cheers jemma. i am actually hoping to wipe myself off the site - but it takes time! and yes, it is a place to brag.