Tuesday, 22 June 2010

London Diary (23)

These things are never meant to last long. A few weeks at most and then she goes her way and I go mine. Never to meet again, lost in the mists of our own lives. Those brief moments together, we love and laugh, enjoy and share. We may even bicker a little, but we are together for those few weeks in bliss. And then it ends. She has her life to lead, and I have mine. No hard feelings, we both move on and it becomes lost in the memory of time, to look back on and smile fondly as a moment spent with each other.

Except it did not quite happen this time around. Something else slipped into the net.

I fell in love.

Love does not normally come into such a brief interlude. It is over before it even begins. But even now, I still cannot forget her eyes, those wonderful deep eyes of hers. Her smile, her laugh. God, we men are simple beasts, but that was really it. Not much, barely a mention of anything else. History, the past, ideals of the future, were never mentioned. She does not know my past, or my innermost thoughts and I do not know hers. I do not know what made her the person she is, or even if that was her real name. But logistics like that are not important in my mind and in my heart. Instead, it was the details, that I remember and miss more vividly. The touch of her finger tips on mine, the way she giggled, her attempt at making toast. All of these things, I look back on and simply smile. It is a smile tinged with sorrow. A yearning inside of me, a wish that we could have held each other for longer, been together that little bit more, maybe even tried to become more than just an encounter.

There's a picture of us on my phone. Taken at random, we were somewhere in in the city, mucking about. For some reason, it has not yet been deleted. All it takes is a few clicks of the screen. But I want to hold onto this pic. This one visible memory of the two of us. Smiling, happy, looking into each other's eyes. For a moment we connected. We revealed a little of our souls to each other. And then she left. She had to go back to her life. To her reality. And I went back to mine.

I have not been in love for a while. And, you know what. It feels kind of nice. Yeah, I am heart broken. I feel even a little foolish for feeling like a kid. But it is a good feeling, to feel again. And all it took was a brief encounter...