Tuesday, 21 September 2010

London Diary 30

Slipping back to reality, I returned, a little wiser, a little happier and a little bit more sorrowful. Thinking of you, of the time spent together, briefly colliding, never long enough to leave a lasting imprint, but still, your smile it still remains vivid, your voice, your laugh, the way you gasped when I tickled your back, the touch of your cheeks on mine, the smell of your hair. And the way you made me smile. It is hard to meet someone who can make you laugh, whether inside or out. Not because of your great comic timing, but because, well, because of you...

I wish there was more time, always more time, and yet, I am still here, by the river, the same riverside that we strolled down, that I have strolled many times before, with many others, but now it is a lot more empty. The same crowds, the same passer-byes, the same buskers who were there a few days ago, are still there now. But as for us? While I remain in the city, you are far away. Maybe not as far as my dramatic prose may give the impression, but far enough, where we lead separate lives, separate desires and have separate destinations.

Just a couple of days...is that enough to make an impact, to change plans, ideas and beliefs, long held but in reality everything we do is merely temporary, not even a blot on the canvas of life. Is this then the meaning of adaptation, to change yourself for desire, for emotion, or is it just adrenaline? Speaking to me, or does my heart actually beat for a reason. Jpegs, voicemails, texts. Is this what you show to your offspring in place of pictures, postcards and letters? A whirlwind, brought together by chance, meeting in reality, keeping in touch virtually. For me, I want something more. Something to hold, to touch, to physically believe that there was something beyond a fleeting embrace. But we live apart, and while it becomes easier to forget, there are still moments that I catch myself, thinking, wishing, dreaming of the time we spent together. In each others arms, while looking across at the river...

3 comments:

magiceye said...

awwww
such a romantic

Asad said...

Carlos is nothing if not a romantic...

el director! said...

yeah guys, i am a softie at heart...