Monday, 14 February 2011

Happy Love Day!

Have you done it yet? Yes you, you pathetic, dumb idiot. How do you expect to retain your woman if you are not ready? Your Valentine is waiting. For the flowers, the chocolate, the card. The overpriced restaurant booking, the romantic getaway to Paris, the engagement ring on top of the Eiffel Tower, the fireworks in the background.

She is waiting for all that. And the mortgage, the house, the two cars, the 1.96 kids, the husband with the successful career.

She is waiting for that and more. The affairs, the lies, the beatings, the drunken nights to remember a lost youth, the younger mistress you will keep on the side, the chance meeting with your ex-girlfriend, the pain, the sadness, the deformity of the body as age creeps up, the bitterness as realisation sinks in that you are not a knight in shining armour but a toaster on a white steed.

She is waiting for retirement and divorce, a chance to start a new life, new and more interesting venereal diseases as encounters with other people once again becomes a possibility. She is waiting to see grandchildren, but will actually say in public that the kids are her nieces and nephews. She is waiting for botox, self-lifting underwear and really good foundation creams.

She is waiting for death, an empty existence in an old people's home. Supported by the state as the kids have fled to a better country. Looking back on a life where mistakes where made. Until she realises that Valentine's day was not so important. The events that swayed her life on that magical night where a result of adrenaline and good marketing rather than anything more deeper and meaningful. She regrets the fact that she believed in the glitz and glamour of flash clothes, sexy dinners and the flashy ring. The money that was spent, the time given, that was all a waste. And in the end, the final question, was it really worth it?

Happy Valentine's everyone!