Tuesday, 8 March 2011

London Diary 42

You were fucking her, weren't you. You little bastard!

I really don't want to hear it. A young couple, in their early twenties. She thinks this affair, his betrayal of her, is the most important thing to ever happen to her. At the front of the bus, arguing. Because he-

-slept with her. How could you, what were you thinking!

Grow up honey, this is not the end of the world. You obviously weren't fucking him right. That's why guys like him come to girls like me. Because you don't know how to-

-fuck her, while I am out working!

Please, little baby, you're not exactly with a kid now. No, I can tell. You're body has not been wrecked by the rigours of childbirth. You don't have the lines of worry on your face, the same lines that a mother has.

You betrayed me. I trusted you, and this is what I get.

The rest of the bus is uncomfortably silent. The driver seems to be ignoring this conversation. I don't blame him. Or her, to be honest, I didn't even look at the driver when I boarded. I just wanted to sit down. My head hurts. My legs hurt. My chest hurts. My chest always hurts. It's the sickness.

Suddenly everything goes silent. The couple ahead of me have stopped their argument. I call it an argument, but in reality, the boy has just sat there and accepted it. The road ahead is blocked and everyone on the bus looks on. The blue lights of a police car's siren block the road.

Someone is dead. You know that. The only time a road is closed like this is when someone is dead and the police are making the area a crime scene. The rest of the bus stirs into life. People start murmuring to each other. The doors of the bus remain open as to let people off. This vehicle is not going anywhere.

The arguing couple get off. After a moment of two arguing, she begins again. Angry, but for what, I do not know, nor do I care. Silly little brats, the both of them. Why she bothers with a man as ugly as that I do not know. And why he still sticks with her is a mystery. If he fucked about, just go. Young and foolish, the both of them.

While me? Yeah, young enough, but getting older too fast. It's the sickness. It is taking over my life. And I hate it. The pills, the constant worry, the carefulness. And now someone is in my life, what do I do? One day I will be gone, far from here, leaving her to hold her baby, alone, again. She has been betrayed so many times, and this time I, or should I say, my body will betray her. She knows already, says it does not matter, but I know when she looks at me, every time I cough, that she is scared.

My head hurts, and it is going to be along time before we get going again. The night is too cold to start walking home. I think I will stay on the bus. At least it is more peaceful, now that no one is arguing anymore...

1 comment:

magiceye said...

brilliant writing!